The 1st mistake a recently engaged man makes is to believe and follow the accepted norm that girls relish planning their marriage and all blokes have to do is nod and say yes to everything and work out a technique to pay for it. While this customary norm doesn’t always guarantee divorce down the line, it definitely serves to point you that way from the get-go. Why? Because girls need their men to be more than the person in the tux at the change and they need them to basically SHARE in the planning of their special day.
Men hear this and wish to run in the other way – thinking all kinds of conflicts will arise if they attempt to share in the planning. Or that they’re going to be over ruled each step of the way anyhow. Girls however will tell you that they need their future spouse to be involved in the planning – not necessarily in the choice making, but at least in the planning.
This carries forward to their married years also – men who are distant from family decisions are less supportive.
And in the final analysis, this is what most girls need above everything else – support. Even if you do not agree, it’s far better to go thru the choice making process together than to leave one party with all of the calls. If for no other reason than the one call maker gets tagged with all of the blame if something doesn’t work just completely. Many a bride has burned themselves out before the honeymoon ever arrives because they were forced to do everything. Marriages are NOT something most men growing up wish to plan.
For most the sheer size of the planning makes them ill. Many men understand that just engaging in the middle pleases their future bride and has a tendency to smooth out the relationship road over the long run, a road that everyone knows can get quite rough.
Listening and communicating are features most ladies say they need in a person and the smart man is one who offers these from the start of the marriage planning process. This process is most likely going to end with a large amount of give and take, so that the best plan is to start giving and taking early on and creating a healthy pattern for the remainder of your wedded life.
